Ultimate experience with mindfulness and soda

Yesterday I was jolted back to the present by one of the very things that allows me to disconnect. I was eating lunch in the cafeteria and reading a zen book, when the lid of the soda I was drinking popped off and the contents dumped all over me, my lunch, the table, and my book. How's that for a reminder to mindful?

Update on my soda addiction

I feel that I should continue to examine my soda addiction, as it is still something that I notice and since it's been getting worse lately. I hit a low today, when I took $1.25 in dimes and nickels to the cafeteria in our building. I shamefully apologized to the cashier, whose only response was a giggle, and to the guy behind me made some comment about needing to get rid of change. The whole thing was amusing really, but also a chance for some investigation into what's really going on when I crave soda.

For this investigation, I am using a technique taught to me by a zen teacher in my study of the Buddhist Precepts. It involves an an acronym, R.A.I.N and it's meant to increase awareness of what we do. Each letter signifies a step in that awareness.

R - Recognize the present moment and what you are feeling
Today's soda purchase was harder to ignore that most of my cravings, because it was such a to-do. As I was sorting my change, taking the elevator down to the lobby and then another elevator up to the 16th floor, slowly counting out my nickels and dimes for the cashier, making my way back up and down the elevators, and back to my desk, I was aware of the craving.

This craving, and most of my cravings really, come at a time when I am feeling inadequate or useless. Today, for instance, I was bored at my job. A lack of work, and consequently a lack of self-worth lead to me seek fulfillment. Not to mention that the job I have does not untilize my skills and abilities, nor is it mentally stimulating. This is another way in which I reaffirm my worthlessness with myself. There must be something wrong with me if I cannot get a job in my field.

A - Accept what you are feeling
Upon the realization of the craving and it's underlying emotions, I did not try to push the feeling away or ignore it. I let it be what it was and tried to be mindful of the craving.

I - Investigate
Once I recognized the craving and the feeling behind it, I could look closer at what happened at this time. I did not have any work to do and therefore was lollygagging on the internet. Even though my coworkers had no work for me to do, I felt ashamed, as if I was not doing enough. When someone walked by the door I would feel a jolt to get to work, so that people wouldn't think I was wasting time away.

Physically, I was slouching. I felt an emptiness in my abdomen, something that tea could not fulfill. Upon drinking the soda, there was a tingling that commenced down my esophagus and into my abdomen. Even now, I still feel a tightness in my shoulders and feel a bit exhausted overall. Like I had just cried intensely.

N - Non-Identification
These feelings of shame and worthlessness are thoughts, some of many, that I have. They do not define me. I am so much more than these thoughts.

My ongoing battle with soda

Speaking of fighting against conglomerates feeding our bodies with toxic substances (as in my last few posts regarding Rx drugs), it has come to my attention recently that I am addicted to soda. I've always known this on some level, but thought it was more mild than it is. Is there such a thing as a mild addiction? Sadly, compared to many Americans, I drink less amounts of soda on a regular basis (I rarely drink more than one per day). However, I just cannot seem to give it up. I think part of this may stem from the lack of mental stimulation at my current job. All I do is sit around and think about not drinking soda (and write in my blog).
I've been thinking about it more and more lately. I need to rid myself of my dependence on soda. it's so bad for me in so many ways.
According to wedmd, I need to do the following to stop drinking soda. My comments italicized.
1. Make up my mind. Okay.
2. Switch to diet soda. Gross!
3. Go Caffeine-free. I've been trying to mindfully reduce my intake of caffeine lately and have discovered that it's pretty hard to find beverages that are caffeine-free (that are not juices, which when I'm looking for something to drink midday, are mostly sugar and too acidic for my bladder).
4. Stock up on alternatives. WedMD recommends milk, cow or soy, to which I say no thank you. I have been trying to drink more water though. I find it's lack of sugar to be unsatisfying at times though. I know that this will change with time (I have done this before), but I'm so impatient.

Okay, so on with step 1, I am making up my mind to stop drinking soda. And I do so while sipping on a bottle of coke. Step 1a for me, throw out rest of coke. You know what, I'm just going to make that step 2. I'm not going to bother with the diet sodas. Why would someone go and wreck perfectly good soda by taking away the sugar? Next step for me is to reduce my caffeine intake. This will be a bit of a challenge for me, but I will continue to do so. Enough about my soda drinking now, I'm going to get some water from the cooler.

On a completely different note, I found this interesting bit about dialects in the U.S.:

Throughout most of the Midwest, from western Pennsylvania, through the Great Plains, to Oregon, the preferred usage is 'pop'. According to a huge survey across America the term 'pop' is a bit more popular with Americans than 'soda' (but only barely).

Ha, New York! That'll teach you to tease me about my use of the term pop (and the way in which I pronounce sooooda)

He He, also this was a footnote to the article:

The Midwestern, or Midland, dialect refers to the speech in an absolutely vast swathe of land whose denizens would contend that they have no accent.

Uh oh, the BBC is onto us...